tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
