Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
A bitchslap is in order.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
