So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
