I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
