Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
