Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
