Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
