shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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