Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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