no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
