I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think my vagina is haunted
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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