is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
