You made me cry and you don't even care
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
