we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
