no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
