i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
