worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
