does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
wow bdsm is so cute
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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