does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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