I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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