it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
