so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
