Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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