kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We had sex on a dog bed..
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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