she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
