So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
