WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
