recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
