Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
