you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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