Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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