My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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