She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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