i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
