I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
