Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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