Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
as a side note pls kill me
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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