real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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