Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
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he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
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Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy