Texts From Last Night

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  (424): View more from California

  I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick

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  (424): I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick http://tfl.nu/5e2h
  Replies (1) Good night (888) Bad night (1174)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong

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  (248): the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong http://tfl.nu/52o9
  Replies (2) Good night (846) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.

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  (504): That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy. http://tfl.nu/e23b
  Replies (11) Good night (671) Bad night (2009)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls

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  (205): So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls http://tfl.nu/yvx9
  Replies (7) Good night (3213) Bad night (1166)
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  (209): View more from California

  Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.

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  (209): Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work. http://tfl.nu/af2i
  Replies (5) Good night (3841) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.

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  (703): like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it. http://tfl.nu/vg3u
  Replies (22) Good night (6164) Bad night (1335)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!

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  (616): He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science. (1-616): Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world! http://tfl.nu/0fvx
  Replies (10) Good night (5076) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.

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  (650): I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar. http://tfl.nu/ituj
  Replies (12) Good night (4713) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??

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  (513): How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last?? http://tfl.nu/wkzl
  Replies (9) Good night (1022) Bad night (2787)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.

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  (910): I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers. http://tfl.nu/lhcq
  Replies (7) Good night (1687) Bad night (1755)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??

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  (701): She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that?? http://tfl.nu/2mxl
  Replies (9) Good night (1690) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!

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  (618): Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!! http://tfl.nu/jiww
  Replies (11) Good night (1811) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.

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  (506): I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow. http://tfl.nu/72sd
  Replies (3) Good night (427) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  What happened to my face?

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  It was impressive.

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  (320): What happened to my face? (715): You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake. (715): It was impressive. http://tfl.nu/9g5g
  Replies (3) Good night (1166) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.

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  (570): If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it. http://tfl.nu/cvsi
  Replies (3) Good night (804) Bad night (331)

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