Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume. http://tfl.nu/7n2b
  Replies (5) Good night (915) Bad night (1360)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special http://tfl.nu/7k86
  Replies (79) Good night (1122) Bad night (5771)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish? http://tfl.nu/s0dr
  Replies (10) Good night (830) Bad night (4078)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night http://tfl.nu/kb2l
  Replies (5) Good night (4147) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER http://tfl.nu/i5te
  Replies (10) Good night (4078) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that. http://tfl.nu/qgn9
  Replies (8) Good night (2397) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded. http://tfl.nu/5fxu
  Replies (21) Good night (3801) Bad night (1894)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again http://tfl.nu/o3kd
  Replies (14) Good night (2134) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours http://tfl.nu/8ij2
  Replies (3) Good night (876) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird. http://tfl.nu/yqaf
  Replies (19) Good night (2424) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge http://tfl.nu/on98
  Replies (2) Good night (473) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here. http://tfl.nu/s5oa
  Replies (16) Good night (357) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW http://tfl.nu/uzsx
  Replies (6) Good night (1202) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl" http://tfl.nu/ovhn
  Replies (3) Good night (509) Bad night (210)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day? http://tfl.nu/hz4d
  Replies (6) Good night (182) Bad night (659)

Randomize