Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"

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  (607): I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy" http://tfl.nu/7l02
  Replies (35) Good night (4629) Bad night (760)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience

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  (541): You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience http://tfl.nu/ta5s
  Replies (13) Good night (1846) Bad night (6661)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.

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  (949): you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano. http://tfl.nu/kwsa
  Replies (6) Good night (2494) Bad night (3415)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality

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  (336): I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality http://tfl.nu/g1bs
  Replies (73) Good night (1590) Bad night (13039)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms

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  (785): He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms http://tfl.nu/p81e
  Replies (12) Good night (968) Bad night (3900)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor

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  (906): scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor http://tfl.nu/aosr
  Replies (9) Good night (1944) Bad night (1396)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?

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  (+44): Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert? http://tfl.nu/uki8
  Replies (4) Good night (2596) Bad night (1039)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me

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  (551): Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me http://tfl.nu/723s
  Replies (9) Good night (992) Bad night (1808)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Ps I am

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  (440): Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now (440): Ps I am http://tfl.nu/ow38
  Replies (8) Good night (2308) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB

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  (+44): you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB http://tfl.nu/timz
  Replies (5) Good night (2000) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.

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  (570): You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road. http://tfl.nu/405b
  Replies (5) Good night (1553) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs

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  (610): No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her. (1-610): That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs http://tfl.nu/zsmx
  Replies (5) Good night (1883) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.

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  (647): Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor. http://tfl.nu/ry4y
  Replies (8) Good night (1549) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night

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  (508): I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night http://tfl.nu/3slk
  Replies (2) Good night (504) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!

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  (636): She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude! http://tfl.nu/l1oq
  Replies (5) Good night (972) Bad night (301)

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