Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
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So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
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His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.