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• (760): View more from California

  I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed

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• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.

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• 

  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.

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