ADVERTISEMENT

• (661): View more from California

  Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.

  Fav 9 1155 1141

  share tweet
  

• (386): View more from Florida

  her nipple to breast ratio was just odd

  Fav 20 1175 3763

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (951): View more from California

  ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am

  Fav 17 3444 1581

  share tweet
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.

  Fav 63 21258 1620

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  you didn't get her number why?

  Fav 7 3073 1812

  share tweet
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree

  Fav 3 2229 1069

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (561): View more from Florida

  well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.

  Fav 10 1061 2079

  share tweet
  

• (+61): View more from Australia

  You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.

  Fav 5 1825 835

  share tweet
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.

  Fav 5 1029 620

  share tweet
  
• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...

  Fav 2 1088 798

  share tweet
  

• (760): View more from California

  Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs

  Fav 3 965 572

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (301): View more from Maryland

  I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers

  Fav 1 742 510

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.

  Fav 0 587 447

  share tweet
  

• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".

  Fav 2 416 651

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.

  Fav 3 77 22

  share tweet
  

Randomize