That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?