Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key

  (631): View more from New York

  had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.

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  (631): Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key (631): had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now. http://tfl.nu/o06a
  Replies (21) Good night (829) Bad night (801)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.

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  (573): Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it. http://tfl.nu/veic
  Replies (26) Good night (901) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her

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  (603): She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her http://tfl.nu/d3n8
  Replies (32) Good night (4007) Bad night (582) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.

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  (636): So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man. http://tfl.nu/8qmy
  Replies (73) Good night (8984) Bad night (1160) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.

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  (717): so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity. http://tfl.nu/nf2x
  Replies (20) Good night (5295) Bad night (1178) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass

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  (408): I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass http://tfl.nu/h161
  Replies (17) Good night (1149) Bad night (4227) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter

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  (319): Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter http://tfl.nu/rgti
  Replies (31) Good night (9133) Bad night (1009) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.

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  (519): and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover. http://tfl.nu/uo1b
  Replies (9) Good night (6507) Bad night (1389) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.

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  (860): you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance. http://tfl.nu/1cpz
  Replies (16) Good night (8202) Bad night (1125) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.

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  (810): She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again. http://tfl.nu/2zep
  Replies (1) Good night (3106) Bad night (716) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty

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  (509): I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty http://tfl.nu/7xz1
  Replies (6) Good night (2085) Bad night (466)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.

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  (360): Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred. http://tfl.nu/7z2u
  Replies (9) Good night (316) Bad night (1294) Order T-Shirt
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.

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  (226): I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off. http://tfl.nu/fkr9
  Replies (2) Good night (249) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
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  (830): View more from Texas

  It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember

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  (830): It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember http://tfl.nu/l1ic
  Replies (0) Good night (257) Bad night (378) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave

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  (608): I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave http://tfl.nu/hose
  Replies (4) Good night (515) Bad night (293) Order T-Shirt

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