This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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