You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's rum buckets o'clock
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize