There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
