Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
