Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Randomize
