and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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