Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
