3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize