i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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