the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i came on her dog
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
