i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
