You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
