You're so nebulous sometimes
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
