By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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