Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
