You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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