Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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