Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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