i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
