...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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