In the future we'll all be gay
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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