if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
