Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
